We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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