i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
