he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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