I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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