yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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