Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize