Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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