I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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