so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
