none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
time to smoke my breakfast
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
