your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
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