stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
