I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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