Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My vagina just clenched in fear
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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