I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
