I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
