Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize