And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
