This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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