so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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