Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
