is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
