After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
