I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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