no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize