It's like God shit irony all over that family
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize