I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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