Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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