Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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