i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize