Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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