well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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