Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
