Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
