Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
