either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
