You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
