lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
