With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize