I think I won the penis lottery.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
