Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
