Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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