his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize