It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
