Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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