and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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