I hope mine doesn't look like that
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
