so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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