Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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