man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
