He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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