Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize