Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize
