Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
