So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
