Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
