Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
