My brain says no but my pants say off.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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