its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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