its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
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