I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
