how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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