Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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