You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
