I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
