i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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