FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
